195: How to Lead Meetings that Don’t Suck

[00:00:20] People are multitasking. But the truth is the average engineering manager spends a huge percentage of their time in meetings. If you’re like my mastermind. The answers I got back from them was anything from on the low end, maybe 25 percent of your week. And on the high end, I had people joking about 110 percent of their week being spent in meetings, maybe more realistically, 80%, but big, big numbers of total time that you invest in meetings virtually through tools like zoom and teams in the room, some with your staff, some with your leaders, but we’re in a lot of meetings.

[00:00:59] If you can improve effectiveness, the productivity, the, value creation of a meeting, even by just a few percent, let’s say 5 percent improvement, if you’re investing half of your week or 80 percent of your week in meetings. The compounding of that 5 percent over a year, over a decade of your career and the impact that you will make the results that you will create is substantial.

[00:01:29] So we spend a lot of time focusing on personal development with technology, development around leadership skills and acumen. Leading a meeting specifically could be one of the highest leverage things that you ever face. And I shared with my mastermind, we did a whole month of deep dives on meetings. A data set that came from Calendly.

[00:01:54] Calendly is that online tool for people like me. I use it, to book meetings, for different things, and it’s a great tool. 

[00:02:03] And they surveyed over 1200 people about meetings in the US and the UK. And they have a deck that’s on their blog. You can go download all of the slides if you want to see the whole report, but they have this deck with takeaways from the research study that they did on meetings here in 2024. one of the very first slides.

[00:02:27] Is about meeting productivity they asked people, do meetings enhance your productivity? Does showing up in meetings help you become more productive or does attending meetings reduce your overall productivity and you wish you were not in them? It was a binary question. Do meetings enhance your productivity or do meetings.

[00:02:51] Reduce your productivity at work. And the way Calendly framed the output of that question was really interesting to me. They said a slight majority agrees. Meetings positively impact their productivity. 55 percent of respondents reported their productivity is enhanced due to the meetings they’re in. So Calendly framed this as a positive, that there is a slight majority of people who agree and believe that meetings enhance their productivity, 55%.

[00:03:29] But when I saw that pie chart and 45 percent of it was red. People believe that meetings reduce their overall productivity. I had a hard time seeing this as a win and I would challenge you to be honest with yourself and even to ask your teams this same question, are the meetings that you’re in, Enhancing your overall productivity or not put focus and emphasis on improving your meetings.

[00:04:03] Now we covered a huge range of topics of meeting mastery. How do you create a masterpiece meeting? One that’s engaging, one that’s valuable, one that gets results, but there’s one skill, one skill that you must master. If you want meetings to create high value, here’s a typical experience in meetings. And I’m sure you can relate to this.

[00:04:27] You you’re at your desk and the notification on your calendar goes off. It’s 2 PM and you’ve got a meeting and you haven’t even wrapped up what you were doing before. So you’re, you shut it down and you log in for the meeting and you’re two minutes late and everybody’s chit chatting and talking, and you’re still waiting on Bob and Sally and the other people who aren’t here yet, and five or seven minutes into the meeting, finally, everybody’s here.

[00:04:50] And whoever scheduled the meeting says, you know, Hey, Zach, would you, uh, give us a quick update on the action items from last week’s meeting? Uh, how are we doing on those action items? And I start talking about. All those updates. And then I say, well, Hey, Sally, did you have an answer from the vendor about X and we just start talking about stuff, maybe if you’re lucky, somebody actually says, Hey, all right.

[00:05:18] we need to get started today. We need to make a decision about something. And so Zach, could you give us an update, you know, a little bit of context or an agenda. Some companies, Amazon, some of the big tech companies, I’m sure there are startups out there have really robust meeting cultures.

[00:05:34] And you might not have this experience, but I’ll tell you, having talked to thousands of engineering leaders, this is that meetings begin and we follow the same pathway, the same flow as every other meeting, especially for these recurring weekly type of meetings. They’re not effective. There is a skill called priming, priming the meeting or creating the frame.

[00:06:03] I like the word frame. Framing is one piece of the prime, and if it’s your meeting, if you are the one who organizes and are leading the meeting, mastering the skillset of priming. Setting a strong frame could be the single most impactful thing that you develop as a skill to not just create better meetings.

[00:06:27] But create better results in your entire career because of how much time we invest in meetings. Here’s how priming works. There are three phases, three steps. To a prime and they’re quick. The first is a shift in the energy where we get the meeting started. It’s that moment where we stop chit chatting about the weekend.

[00:06:54] we stopped waiting for people to join the call or get into the room. And if it’s your meeting, it’s that moment where you say. All right, everybody, let’s bring it in. It’s time to get started. if I can have everyone’s attention, we want to get moving with today’s meeting. Hey, I think we have a quorum.

[00:07:14] Everybody’s here. Let’s get started. It’s time to begin. Let’s do this. I don’t care what you say, but there’s an energetic shift. That happens where you make your voice heard and you let everybody know that it is time to bring your focus here into the room. We’re going to begin. That’s the first step in priming.

[00:07:39] The second step is framing what we’re here to do. Set the frame for the meeting. This is a quick overview of the agenda, any key decisions or outputs that we need to make today. Why are we here and what do we need to accomplish any ground rules for the meeting? Is there any expectations about how people will participate?

[00:08:04] What will we do and what won’t we do? Right? Anything specific that you want people to know about why we’re here, what we need to accomplish, how we’re going to operate in this conversation, what success looks like coming out of the meeting. We do a very quick and concise summary to set the frame. So I think about.

[00:08:26] A meeting I might have with my team at the Oasis of Courage, I could say, Hey, Jolie max, let’s get rolling. We want to get started here in our, coaching health overview, talking about the health of all of our clients, rather than just saying, Jolie, give us a quick update on how everybody’s doing. No, no, no, no, no.

[00:08:48] What you want to do at that moment is say, all right, Hey, let’s get rolling. We’re here today. To go over our client health, the success of our clients, the engineering managers who work with us is one of the key, most important things that we do as a coaching organization. So let’s really pay attention today.

[00:09:06] I’d like to hear about anybody whose status has changed. Anybody who is currently experiencing frustration or a stuck point in our program and anybody who needs special attention in one on one coaching or a reach out from me or any of our other coaches to make sure that they’re getting So today, as we finished the call, we’d like to get a complete list of action items together and make sure everyone knows.

[00:09:31] where every client is at and which actions you’re responsible for. Quick, concise summary of what we’re here to do and the expectations for the meeting. Now that’s the second piece. The third piece of priming this skill, and it is a skill. It’s a practiced skill that you will master if you dedicate time and energy to practice it.

[00:09:55] The third piece. is asking for agreement, acknowledgement that we’re all on the same page with that agenda. So that is a simple phrase like, does that sound good to everyone? Is everybody on board? Are you with me? It’s not. Are there any questions? It’s do you agree that this is the plan for the meeting?

[00:10:24] Are you in agreement? Do you acknowledge that this is why we’re here? We’re looking for that thumbs up that yes, that head nod. And I’m literally looking around the room for that acknowledgement. It’s not a, just a check box that you say it. It’s a literal action. Does that sound good? Give me a thumbs up if you’re on board for that agenda.

[00:10:48] Give me a yes, nod yes, if you’re on the same page. Perfect. Three steps to priming. Shift the energy, set the frame, and ask for acknowledgement. These three steps, if you will take them at the beginning of every meeting, the effectiveness and the impact of that meeting will go up. I guarantee it. I’ve seen it time and time again.

[00:11:16] This is not just true for big team meetings, by the way. This same skill can be used in every interaction you have. You’re making a phone call to a vendor. Rather than just talking and randomly peppering them with questions, prime them. You know, Hey, Oh, Susan, it’s so great to chat with you. How are you doing?

[00:11:37] How are the kids? Oh, it’s great. You know, I think I’ll be in your state next month. I’d love to swing by the factory and see you and say hi. Hey, Susan, really quick. The reason I called today is to answer X, Y, and Z questions and needed to get your input about a decision. I’ve only got 10 minutes for our chat.

[00:11:56] I’ve actually got another call coming up, so we’ll need to wrap in about 10 minutes. Does that sound okay to you? Set the frame, ask for acknowledgement, this priming skill, right? It changes the tone. It changes the energy of the room. It establishes you as the leader of the meeting, which is really important.

[00:12:16] Whoever primes, whoever sets the frame is the person who is seen as the leader in the room. If it’s your meeting and someone else is setting the frame, your boss or the director, the VP, someone else comes in and sets that frame, guess what? It’s no longer your meeting. It just became their meeting.

[00:12:37] And if you’re getting overruled or overrun by other people, stepping into your meetings and framing and priming on your behalf, that’s a conversation you want to have with them. And it’s a skill you need to develop to reclaim that mantle of leadership in that room. If it’s your meeting, you’re in charge, you’re the leader.

[00:12:54] You are the one who needs to be priming everyone for the discussion for why we’re here. If it’s your meeting, you prime. Now let’s say it’s not your meeting and nobody’s priming. Great opportunity to lead from the back of the room to help whoever is in charge to say, Hey, Zach, Hey, really quick before we go any further, I just wanted to make sure that I’m clear on our agenda for today.

[00:13:21] Would you be willing to take 30 seconds and just outline what we need to accomplish in the next 30 minutes while we’re together before we get too far into the details? I’d appreciate it. Great chance for you to help that person to become a better leader themselves, but also to protect your time so that you’re not wasting time in that meeting without clarity on the agenda.

[00:13:45] Priming. It’s a skill. It has three phases, a shift in energy, setting the frame and asking for acknowledgement, use this skill to improve every meeting you have, every phone call you make, every interaction to stay on point, stay on task. Accomplish what you need to and bring focus and energy right there into the room.

[00:14:11] We just covered this with the mastermind that I lead here in the oasis of courage and people have been taking action and let me Tell you what i’ve been hearing Zach, people are staying on agenda more often. And when things off the agenda come up, it’s easier for me to redirect people back to the agenda because I already have their agreement.

[00:14:31] Zach, our meetings are finishing early because we’re not wasting time on things off the agenda. Zach, we are actually getting people engaged and enthused to show up to the meetings because we’re getting better results, Zach, we actually realized we don’t even need a meeting because when I. Was preparing and started thinking about the frame.

[00:14:53] It became obvious to me that everything that we needed to accomplish could be done without a meeting. And we deleted it. We canceled it from the calendar and just got half an hour a week back for myself and the team. Those kinds of results are possible for you as well. So begin practicing this skill start today.

[00:15:11] Your next meeting, take a moment, create the frame in advance. Practice it once out loud before you go into that room and then shift the energy, deliver the frame and ask for that acknowledgement before you begin. I’d love to hear how it goes for you. If you take the initiative to practice this skill, send me an email or reach out to me on LinkedIn and let me know what works for you, what kind of results do you experience?

[00:15:39] I’d love to hear that feedback. You know, the podcast is great because I can share these resources with you, but it’s a one way conversation. I’d love to make it a two way conversation and hear what’s going on for you. And if it’s not working to debug and figure out what you need to be able to get leverage, like our mastermind is getting from this tool, Meetings.

[00:16:00] Don’t let your team be in the 45 percent of people who say that meetings are a drag on their productivity. You’re in them. So let’s make them great. Game on.