206: The Best Advice You Can Give Someone Looking for Success

And in many ways, it’s the opposite side of the coin of what I shared in episode two Oh one. There’s something that I’ve been triggered by in the past. And I will never forget a coaching session that I was in being coached. So I was in on a one on one with my coach. We were talking about my business growth.

I had recently left my really successful and growing engineering career. And I had started this business, the Oasis of Courage to [00:01:00] coach and support. You in career development and growth. And I had just started the business and one of the first milestones that I had set up for myself was to earn enough money in coaching to replace my entire engineering salary.

That was one of the first goals that I had set for myself. And I’m on a coaching call debriefing with some. Recent marketing strategies and learning different things. And I was sharing with my coach how things were going. And the topic of revenue came up and I shared my numbers from the last couple of months and she could tell I was super frustrated.

And so she asked me, you know, what’s going on right now as you’re sharing this with me? What are you noticing? What are you experiencing? What are you feeling? Tell me about what’s going on in your mind. And I just. Was honest with her, like, you know, things are going okay, but my bank account is still going the wrong direction every single [00:02:00] month.

I haven’t figured this out yet. You know, the marketing isn’t getting traction fast enough. My sales close rates aren’t good enough. I really want to see this grow because I’m not even halfway to replacing my engineering salary yet. Now, keep in mind, that was a big mistake. I made great money as an engineering leader, and it was not a trivial thing to figure out how to make that up in coaching where there’s just not as much money to be made.

And I was trying to figure that out. And it’s like, Oh, how am I going to solve this? Well, I was frustrated and my coach called me out on it. She saw that in my energy. And she said, Yeah, well, tell me why that’s so frustrating to you, considering that you just started doing this a few months ago. You know, you’re brand new to the coaching world and look at all the progress that you’ve made, right?

You’ve come from no business at all and just coaching one on one on the side to people while you were still full time [00:03:00] employed at Whirlpool Corporation to launching this business, a huge, courageous move and so many things to be proud of. And you’re just getting started. What’s under the hood behind that negative emotion?

And I sat there for a second because she was right. There was a lot to be proud of in that moment. And I’d had some big wins and I was excited about the direction the business was going. And I was loving, loving, loving, loving doing the coaching full time. It’s something I’m super passionate about. So why was I so frustrated?

Why was I in such a negative place about my progress? And the answer was that compared to the milestone of replacing my full income, It felt like I was going too slow. It was just too slow. I was working really hard, and I wasn’t getting to the goal as fast as I wanted to. And in that coaching call, we [00:04:00] identified this, this trigger word for me.

Slow. Going slow. Not reaching my goals as fast as I want to. Feeling like I was moving slow and making progress towards what was most important. That word slow, like, even as I’m saying it now, I, I feel the, the tingling on the back of my neck. I’m very much. I was wired from long, long time ago to despise the idea that I’m going slow.

I want to move quick. I want to move fast. I want to be a player, top performer, goal crushing, you know, type a let’s go, let’s do this. That’s me. That’s who I want to be. And so I had a goal to replace my income and it wasn’t happening as fast as I wanted. So I was going slow and that feeling of slow was stirring up all kinds of negative emotion and frustration inside me.

So on that call, we did some work. I got my mindset straightened out and I [00:05:00] kept putting the next step in place and the next step in place. And it was not long after that, that I got the business to a point where my income was replaced. But when I go back to that moment and I think about this triggering of things feeling slow, what actually changed in me.

Was not my strategy or my action plan. I actually did not change anything about how many hours I was working. I didn’t work more. I didn’t do a dramatically different thing in terms of the marketing strategy or the sales strategy or the product, you know, service strategy with the coaching itself. None of that changed, but something did change in my mindset that has erased that feeling of slow as a derailer for my quality of life.

And to help you understand what it was. Let me tell you about two different scenarios that I’ve lived, maybe you’ve lived these same moments that really help [00:06:00] illustrate what I’m talking about. One time I was waiting in line at King’s Island, the amusement park, waiting in line to ride the Beast. And if you’ve ever been to King’s Island and ridden it, it, at least at the time, it was the world’s longest wooden roller coaster.

I’m not sure if it is anymore. The Beast was my favorite roller coaster at King’s Island. My family would go to King’s Island once or maybe twice every summer when I was a kid. Lots of great roller coasters to ride at King’s Island. But the beast was my favorite. It is a long, it’s like a four minute, five minute long ride, which, you know, for roller coasters is a long time to be, uh, on the ride and it was just fast and it shook you around and it was, you know, really just this amazing experience.

I loved the beast. So I was at King’s Island waiting in line to ride the beast [00:07:00] and the wait time was about two hours. Two hours, you know, those little signs they put up on amusement park rides, you know, 30 minutes to the front, an hour to the front, hour and a half to the front, we were standing back there by the two hours to go spot in line.

And it was me and a bunch of friends starting to wait, wait, wait. And next thing, you know, urge to use the bathroom hits me. I gotta pee.  All right. Sorry if that’s a little too, uh, graphic for the podcast here, but I’ve been in line for about half an hour.

We’ve got 90 minutes to go and I gotta pee. Well, I’m not getting out of line because we’ve been waiting all day to get into this line to ride my favorite ride. Like I’m just going to hold it. So I’m holding it 30 minutes passes and wow, like it’s getting. Really uncomfortable. And yeah, there’s nowhere in the line.

You could just go pee in the bushes, right? There’s people everywhere. So I’m stuck, I’m trapped. There’s another hour to go and I’ve got to pee [00:08:00] really bad at this point. And I’m thinking to myself, there’s no way. There’s no way that I can hold it this whole hour and not wet myself on this roller coaster, right?

I’m starting to freak out. And I mean, my friends are starting to notice that I’ve disengaged from the conversation a little bit. I’ve got this look on my face when my friends asked, you know, Hey, what’s going on? You cool. And I told him, I was like, I kind of got to pee. And now the whole group’s like, Oh, you can’t, you can’t get out of line to go pee now.

Like we got to get to the front and I’m like, I know, I know, I know. So you know, I’m just going to hold it. Well. You can imagine this experience. Every single second that’s passing is agonizing. I’m watching my clock. I’m watching the movement of the line. I’m hoping and begging this line to go faster. I’m just praying that their one hour estimate was way off and that we’re going to get up there much, much quicker.

I’m looking for opportunities to cheat and cut the line or see if I can get up to the front faster. I don’t know. [00:09:00] And by focusing so relentlessly on every single second that was passing because of that urgency to get to my goal before I had a problem, time could not have gone any slower. I mean, it’s like the clock was screeching to a halt.

My, I mean, I think my wristwatch broke, like it just stopped ticking over the seconds. That’s how slow that experience felt because of that agonizing focus on please go faster, please go faster, please go faster, please go faster, please go faster. And guess what? It doesn’t speed up. I think of waiting in line at the DMV when you gotta go get your license renewed or something.

That line, there’s just this agonizing slowness to it because you’re sitting there watching the clock, you’re watching the ticket counter, waiting for your number to get called so you can finally go up and take care of this thing. When you’re in that [00:10:00] mode, of relentless focus on time passing and putting pressure on that time to pass faster, what happens?

The exact opposite. Time slows way down. So I had that experience at King’s Island punchline, by the way, I got maybe 20 minutes from the front and I just couldn’t hold it. And I had to get out of the line, go to the restroom. And I met my friends after the ride. It was tragic, tragic. Here’s a second experience that I had waiting in line at Disney World for one of their new Star Wars rights when they opened up the Star Wars area at Disney World in Orlando, Florida.

Same scenario with friends at an amusement park. I get in line for the ride and we’re just chatting. [00:11:00] We’re having a great time. We’re enjoying the scenery. And we waited over two hours to ride that ride. But those two hours passed just like that. I mean, we couldn’t even believe that we were at the front.

The time passed so quickly, so easily. We had great conversation. We were taking in the scenery. They had a lot of cool things for you to look at in the line. Disney does a great job making those line experience more visually entertaining. So instead of thinking about getting to the front of the line, you’re thinking about all these other really cool, you know, things that they’ve set up.

We had some great friends with us, we were just enjoying that conversation, and the thought that I needed this line to go faster never crossed my mind. And what was that experience like? Well, bam! It’s like, oh, oh my goodness, we’re here, we’re, oh we’re about to ride the ride, and suddenly the [00:12:00] enthusiasm, the excitement picked up and we were super thrilled and it was an incredible day, an incredible experience.

The very fact that I was not paying attention to how long it was going to take. I was not checking my wristwatch every two minutes. I was not worried about how fast the line went, because I had nowhere else to go. I was with great friends. I didn’t need to use the bathroom. I just was enjoying what was in front of me in that moment.

And the time passed incredibly quickly. You see, I’m triggered by the word slow, or I was. Done a lot in my mindset and in my heart to develop, breaking that conditioning and being triggered by that. But the real trigger wasn’t the idea of how much time it was actually taking. You see, the truth is, if I go back to that coaching session, I actually had been making great progress.

Like I said, most people from the outside looking in were [00:13:00] telling me, Zach, this is really amazing what you’ve already built in such a small amount of time. Keep going. It’s, this is great. Like you’re on a great track. I was getting positive reinforcement from most people, but I was the one standing in line, waiting for my goal to come, looking at the clock.

racing time, begging time to go faster. And so for me, the experience of reaching that goal felt really, really slow. But when you’re not focused on that, when you just enjoy the process, when you surrender to the beautiful, precious, irreplaceable power of this present moment. And you maximize it, and you enjoy it, and you take it for what it is, and you stop thinking about how long it’s going to take to hit your next goal.

And you bring that energy back into the present. You [00:14:00] focus on right now. You change your focus from how long will it be until I reach my goal, and you bring it back to right now. Suddenly the time begins to pass quicker. This is an important shift for you to make when you think about becoming visionary.

and pursuing big goals in your career in life. We need a vision. We need crystal clear direction to aim the energy and the precious time of our life to experience deep fulfillment. To live out our values, to live out your life purpose, you need a crystal clear vision. It’s so important to know where you’re going and what you’re building and why it matters.

All of that is important and all of that is built in to the lifestyle engineering blueprint because without it, you’re not going to experience your best self. And if all you ever do is focus [00:15:00] on that vision and And worry about how long it’s going to take for you to get there and beg and beg and beg and beg for it to go faster and to push and push and push for it to go faster and to hold all this pressure and stress on yourself that you must get to that vision as soon as possible.

And you focus on that piece and that’s all you focus on. Then it’s like waiting in line when you have to pee and the time could not go any slower. You need those things, but the way you approach that. will change your experience in getting it. You know, when you think about the slow versus fast experience of time, another great example of fast flowing time is when you’re on a date with a loved one, you go out with that special someone.

And when you’re on those first dates and the whole night just passes like a flash, being in love. And it’s this experience where time, you know, it’s like 10 hours feels like 10 [00:16:00] minutes. I think of it as relating to patience. You see, when I’m in line at Disney World, waiting to ride the Star Wars ride with nowhere to be, my best friends right around me, and totally chill, my patience in that moment is really, really high.

You could think of the surrender to that experience as being a form of patience. Like, I’m not in a hurry. I don’t have anywhere else to be. Where I am right now is exactly where I should be. And I’m happy to be here. I’m very, very patient in that moment. So if the difference between being impatient, like my line at King’s Island, and patient, like the line at Disney World, if patience is the difference, just imagine for one moment a philosophical question.

If we could Scale our patience to infinity? [00:17:00] What would the experience of getting what we want be like? And I believe that it would be as if everything we want happens right now. Isn’t that interesting to think about? If going from impatient slows down time and everything feels farther and farther away to patient speeding up time, next thing you know, bam, you’re at the front of the line.

If you could have infinite patience, it’d be like having everything you want right now. Chew on that. It’s a fun philosophical thing. But here’s the truth. Surrendering. And holding on to your vision with an open hand, rather than a death grip of needing it to happen right now, is the other side of the coin of being visionary, but also being present.

Thinking about your future, but also living in your now. Planning where you want to go, but not missing the fact that [00:18:00] life is made up of moments. And moments are passing you by in the present. Right now, that you could be maximizing and enjoying if you would simply let go. It’s vision plus surrender that accelerates your growth.

It’s goals and action plus patience that helps you to have power in the present moment. And remember this, the present moment is the only moment where you have power. You have no power to change the future directly. You have no power to change the past directly. Your only power to make a change is right now.

The present moment is the point of power in your life. So my question to you, are you in line at King’s Island, looking at your watch, feeling like you have to be somewhere as soon as possible, or something [00:19:00] bad is gonna happen, or are you living your life Like you’re in line at Disney World, with an incredibly exciting vision ahead, something that you’re motivated to move towards and excited about, a vision of the future that’s compelling, and totally at ease, patient and peaceful, full of power in the present moment.

What do you need to let go of? What do you need to loosen your grip on? Something that you’ve been holding too tight. Where do you need to surrender? If you want to experience reaching your vision faster, begin with not stressing the speed. 

You know I love to say, success loves speed. And it does. I’m not saying just waste time. When you’re in line and the line moves, [00:20:00] you need to take steps and walk forward. You don’t just sit still. We’re still going to take action. We’re still going to move. We’re not going to delay. And we’re not going to be in a hurry.

This radically changed my experience in life. And I sit here today in a life that far exceeds. What I was visioning for at the time of that coaching call where I was being triggered by my goals coming slow. I am at that point and well beyond now. And I can tell you this. If I go back into that old paradigm and I start feeling like my business isn’t growing fast enough, or I’m not building wealth fast enough, or I’m not improving my marriage fast enough, or I’m not improving my health fast enough.

It’s always because I fall into this exact trap of letting my mindset get caught up on seeking control and seeking it now and demanding that things go faster [00:21:00] instead. Of surrendering, trusting, handing that over to God, knowing that I don’t have control over every single outcome. All I have control over is my present moment.

The thoughts, the actions, the decisions that I take right here, right now. This is where my power lies and maximize this moment. And when I do that, my patience increases and my vision comes to me now. If that’s something you need support on. You don’t have a crystal clear vision. You don’t know how to change your mindset.

You don’t know how to get into power of these kinds of shifts in your own career. Then let’s talk about it together. I’d love to support you. That’s what we do. That’s what everybody in our program is working on, creating a clear vision, getting the tools to make it happen, getting surrounded by like minded leaders who can help you and give you resources and support you along the way and the coaching directly from me to help you get there.

Let’s get started in the Blueprint program if that’s something you need. [00:22:00] The info is in the show notes. You can click that link and get signed up for a free career growth audit. Or you can just text me. You text the word lifestyle to 55444. One word, lifestyle to 55444. What we’ll do is get some quick info and send you a link where you can book a time, 15 minutes with my team first, just to get clear on exactly where you need the most support, what’s holding you back, then they’ll get you on the calendar with me, we’ll talk about where you’re at, what you need, and make sure that our coaching programs are exactly the right solution for you.

We’d love to have you. So click the link in the show notes or text me the word lifestyle to the number 55444. In the meantime Answer that question. Where do you need to let go and surrender so that you can maximize power in the present and have what you want come to you quicker than you ever thought possible.