Three different coaching conversations all pointed to the same silent career killer.
Robert just left his 9–5 to launch a company. On our call he said, “Zach, your program is exactly what I need.” Then came the text that night: “I’m not comfortable investing until I have revenue.”
Lily is in our program and making great progress. I challenged her to email two VP-level leaders for mentorship. Three days later, no emails sent. Why? “I wasn’t comfortable reaching out, I didn’t want to bother them, and I didn’t know exactly what to say.”
Curtis didn’t want to “brag,” so he stayed quiet about his results. That “comfort” placed him on a PIP. When he finally stepped out of that zone and shared his wins, he earned the best review of his career.
Different situations, same pattern: comfort was running the show.
Let me show you how this sneaks up on smart engineers and what to do instead.
By the way, not everything I see in engineering leadership is “safe” for LinkedIn. That’s why I write NSFL rants and trench notes only for my inner circle. If you want the real stories and insights, subscribe here.
#1 – Your Comfort Zone Is a Terrible Decision Metric
If you choose actions based on “Do I feel comfortable?” you will repeat your past. Full stop.
Comfort is your nervous system’s survival algorithm, not your success algorithm. It wants predictable, familiar, low-risk moves – even if the familiar thing is miserable. That’s why people stay stuck in roles they hate. The brain says, “We know how to survive this,” and labels anything new as danger.
The outcome you want sits outside the pattern that created your current reality. If “comfortable” is your North Star, you’ll orbit the same results forever.
Audit your last three important decisions. Did comfort lead the way? If yes, circle each one and ask: “What would Courage choose instead?”
#2 – Discomfort ≠ Danger (and Comfort ≠ Good)
“Comfortable” often just means familiar. You may be comfortable with procrastination, comfortable with under-earning, comfortable with being invisible in meetings. And you might be deeply uncomfortable sending a two-sentence note to a VP.
Flip the labels:
- Discomfort in growth actions (asking for mentorship, sharing results, applying for the bigger role) = good signal.
- Comfort in stagnation (avoiding visibility, delaying decisions, waiting for perfect clarity) = red flag.
Action: For the next 7 days, look for one thing daily that gives you that edge-of-stomach feeling – and do it before lunch.
#3 – Success Loves Speed (Stop Waiting for Confidence)
Robert’s logic sounds reasonable: “I’ll invest once there’s revenue.” But entrepreneurship – and career growth – don’t pay out on that sequence. The confidence you’re waiting for is a byproduct of courageous action, not a prerequisite.
Same for Lily. She didn’t “know exactly what to say,” so she froze. We handled it live on our call: she sent five messages in three minutes. Two VPs replied within 24 hours. One became an active mentor.
Momentum beats perfection. Clarity and confidence compound after you move.
Action (do this now):
Message a senior leader you respect:
“Hi [Name] – I’ve admired your path and impact at [Company]. Would you be open to a 10-minute chat? I have 1–2 questions about growing as an engineering leader here. I value your perspective.”
You can write and send that in under five minutes. Don’t overthink it.
#4 – Adopt the C4 Lifestyle: Crush Comfort, Create Courage
At Oasis of Courage, we talk about C4: Crush Comfort, Create Courage. (Yes, like the explosive – because your comfort zone needs to be blown up.)
Here’s the operating system:
- Notice when comfort is steering the wheel.
- Name the small, scary action that would move the needle.
- Nuke the delay – do it within five minutes.
- Normalize the feeling – discomfort is the right room.
When you live C4, you build an identity that can hold bigger opportunities. That’s when quantum leaps happen – like Curtis going from PIP to peak review with one behavior shift: talking about his results.
Action: Create a “C4 Ledger.” Each day, record one comfort-crushing action, the feeling before, and the outcome after. Watch how fast your career compounds.
#5 – Get in Rooms That Make Courage Easier
Courage is contagious. Put yourself around leaders who move fast, speak up, ask, apply, publish, and ship.
That’s why Jake – already a top performer – joined our mastermind. I asked why. He said, “I needed to be around people like me who hold a higher standard. It accelerates everything.”
Environment beats willpower. Set up your default so courage is the easy choice.
Action: If you’ve been listening to me for a while and know it’s time, stop waiting for “comfortable.” Book a free Career Growth Audit. We’ll map your gaps, your next courageous move, and whether our Lifestyle Engineering Blueprint is the right accelerator.
Let me leave you with this
If you spend a whole day – or worse, a whole week – without feeling that healthy edge of discomfort, that’s not a win. It’s a warning sign.
Robert waited for comfort. Lily waited for the perfect words. Curtis waited to be asked. Waiting didn’t work.
Your future is purchased with courageous actions in the present.
Today, stop using comfort as your compass.
Crush comfort. Create courage. Then move – fast.
I’m in your corner. Let’s go.
PS: Not everything I have to share with engineering leaders is “safe” for LinkedIn. That’s why I started writing NSFL (Not Safe for LinkedIn) rants and from-the-trenches stories only for my email list. If you want my unfiltered insights, subscribe here.
