“Hey Zach, my new team feels like a non-stop gossip mill. What should I do? I don’t want to be part of the problem, but I’m concerned about alienating myself from the group…?”
Gossip is cancer for team culture.
Whispers in the break room. Slack threads speculating who’s in trouble. Teammates bonding over the latest drama (or create drama if there is none to discuss). Calling people out in meetings when they are not present to comment or explain.
Gossip isn’t harmless conversation. It erodes trust, lowers morale, and dilutes focus.
On engineering teams where collaboration is king, gossip quietly kills productivity and poisons relationships. Most engineers either happily participate, or go along because they’re afraid of being labeled the goody-two-shoes, holier-than-thou type.
So if you find yourself in a culture that thrives on gossip, the way you handle it matters. Your response will shape your reputation, and how you feel about yourself.
Here are five ways to rise above the chatter and lead with integrity.
Side note: Not everything I have to share with engineering leaders is “safe” for LinkedIn. That’s why I started writing NSFLI (not safe for LinkedIn) rants and from-the-trenches stories only for my email list. If you want my unfiltered insights, subscribe here.
#1 – Don’t Fuel the Rumor Mill
What you permit, you promote.
My first rule in a gossip culture is simple: don’t participate. Resist the urge to bond with coworkers by trash-talking others. Your credibility as a professional and future leader depends on being known as someone who doesn’t talk behind people’s backs.
Yes, you will play the politics game (whole ‘nother topic for another day) because relationships and influence matter. But there’s a big difference between building influence through trust, versus trying to get ahead by trading in gossip.
If you’re caught in a conversation trending toward gossip, ask a question that redirects to something positive or unrelated.
“Let’s keep it positive, what’s something you appreciate about that person?”
“How about we shift gears here, can you tell me where we are on the project?”
Focus on a positive reputation. People follow colleagues they trust, not those who trade in secrets.
#2 – Listen, Observe, and Stay Neutral
In your first weeks with a new team, keep your antenna up and your judgments reserved. It’s tempting to take sides or believe the first stories you hear, but pause.
It’s smart to listen and observe without jumping to conclusions. Who delivers on their promises? Who stirs the pot? By staying professionally neutral, you avoid stepping on a landmine of office politics. Gossip can be used as a trap to get new people to show their cards too soon.
Your goal is to be seen as a team player, not part of any clique.
#3 – Focus on What Matters, Not the Noise
Office gossip is pure distraction. Cut the noise. Focus on what really moves the needle.
Gossip about who might be quitting or who messed up last week doesn’t help the team win.
Instead, redirect the team’s focus back to results. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to bring this conversation back to our next steps on the project.” Send a clear signal that you value progress and results over cheap drama.
Do great work and talk about that… which speaks louder than any rumor.
#4 – Shine a Light on Gossip with Transparency
Gossip feeds on secrecy and uncertainty. The antidote is transparency and truth. If misinformation is flying around, find ways to bring clarity to the table.
Great leaders create certainty so their teams can focus on work instead of gossiping around the water cooler. So if you’re in a position to share updates or correct false rumors, do it.
If gossip starts up around you, don’t just laugh along. Call it out gracefully. You might say, “Hmm, this sounds like speculation. Let’s focus on what we actually know.” It takes courage, but remember, we get more of what we tolerate.
By shining a light on the truth and not tolerating toxic talk, you set a higher standard others will respect.
#5 – Build Your Tribe of Trust
Not everyone in your new workplace will gossip. There are colleagues who share your values, focus on solutions, and steer clear of drama. Seek out those people.
Even one more person who will “plus one” your vote to change the subject makes it 100x easier to take stand for a more positive culture.
Over time, your tribe grows and gossip loses its grip. Teams rally around people they trust. Be that person, and attract others like you.
Let me leave you with this
Walking into a gossip-prone culture can be challenging, but it’s also an opportunity. By refusing to gossip, staying focused on what matters, and leading with honesty and respect, you become a role model regardless of your title.
Office gossip only has power if you give it power. Choose differently. Stay above the fray, keep delivering results, and treat folks with integrity. In a world full of gossip, you’ll be known for something better: character and leadership.
You’ve got this.
Now let’s go make it happen. 🚀
PS: Not everything I have to share with engineering leaders is “safe” for LinkedIn. That’s why I started writing NSFLI (not safe for LinkedIn) rants and from-the-trenches stories only for my email list. If you want my unfiltered insights, subscribe here.
