What are you the best in the world at? Most engineering leaders give a blank stare when asked that question. Full confession, so did I until I met a Courage Coach who challenged me.
How do you become your own superhero in life?
In this episode, meet the man affectionately known as the World’s Best Courage Coach, Laban Ditchburn. He teaches people to bet on themselves.
A child badly affected by divorce, poverty and dysfunction, Laban sought validation and escapism in all the wrong places.
But through self-discovery and a ton of hard work, he conquered the full gamut of addiction—alcohol, sex, gambling, drugs, and negative self-talk.
By understanding and then reverse-engineering the root cause, giving up his addictions was almost effortless.
Now he revels in unabashedly sharing what he’s learned: How to conquer the demons you don’t know you have, and how to be unstoppable in getting to where you want to be.
So press play and let’s chat… because it’s time to bet on YOU!
The Happy Engineer Podcast
WATCH EPISODE 043: BECOME YOUR OWN SUPERHERO WITH LABAN DITCHBURN
LISTEN TO EPISODE 043: BECOME YOUR OWN SUPERHERO INTERVIEW WITH ZACH’S DEBRIEF
Listen on Apple Podcasts // Spotify // Android // iHeartRadio
BECOME YOUR OWN SUPERHERO
Let’s talk about how this incredibly powerful conversation with the World’s Best Courage Coach Laban Ditchburn becomes action. How do you create value and miracles in your life?
Please, please, please remember: this podcast does you no good at all if you simply listen and do not take action.
That reminder out of the way, first off, this was powerful message because Laban has a tremendous story of transformation. You may not have the same kinds of trauma that Laban had in his life. That’s totally fine, because this absolutely still applies in your journey. Make sure you listen to the full episode if you didn’t already. Action begins with taking a close look at a word that came up in our conversation.
I want you to think about this concept of conditioning and ask yourself, “Where have I been conditioned to show up or behave a certain way that is not serving me in building my career?”
One example we talked about was false humility. We’ve been conditioned to stay in a place of false humility, rather than to declare our greatness and to step into our genius. The truth is, not stepping into your genius is not serving the world and it is not serving you.
There is power in the impact you can have on the world around you, for the good of other people, when you own up to your full identity, your potential and your genius. We’ve been conditioned into false humility as being noble. It’s actually just more comfortable than risking failure.
Another conditioning example is that “asking for help is a sign of weakness.” I love what Laban said. His decision to ask for help, and ask for help, and keep asking for help until he found what he needed was out of a place of strength, not weakness! Asking for help makes you strong, not weak.
It is bad conditioning that told you otherwise.
Your action step? Go reflect on what conditioning you may have had, what is showing up in your life today, and write it down. Ask, “Does this serve me in my future vision and goals?” If not, start letting go of those worn out beliefs. If you need help with that, hire a coach.
Next, I really want to encourage you to go and ask the question Laban left us with in this interview.
Who do I need to BE in order to be a better (boss / spouse / parent / team member)?
What kind of person do I need to be?
Decide to do it. Do it today. Never leave the site of a decision without taking an action to make that decision real in your life. So I want you to decide that you will ask the question, Be courageous and go ask in a safe and vulnerable way, and then simply practice listening. The listener has the power.
Please reach out to me and share how it goes! Connect with me on LinkedIn or shoot me an email [email protected].
Have fun this week, be courageous and let’s do this!
Previous Episode 042 BONUS: Create Your Dream Lifestyle with Charles Webb [Part 2]
ABOUT LABAN DITCHBURN
A child badly affected by divorce and dysfunction, Laban sought validation and escapism in all the wrong places.
But through self-discovery, not being afraid to ask for help and a ton of hard work, he conquered the full gamut of addictions—alcohol, sex, gambling, drugs, and negative self-talk.
By understanding and then reverse-engineering the root cause of why he needed to escape, giving up his addictions was almost effortless. These days he gets his high from ultra-marathon running and searching the planet for the world’s best steak!
Today, he defines the word transformation. Reshaping his body by swapping sixty pounds of body fat with thirty pounds of muscle and bone, he discovered a simple cure for his “incurable” auto-immune disease in the process.
Now physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally in charge of his own destiny, Laban’s journey continues to inspire those ready to change their lives.
An exemplar and a revolutionary, he revels in unabashedly sharing what he’s learned: how to conquer the demons you don’t know you have, and how to be unstoppable in getting to where you want to be.
Laban’s debut and internationally acclaimed book “Bet on You” is a “can’t put down” must-read with its raw, real, hilarious, and inspiring message of hope.
Known affectionately as The World’s Best Courage Coach, Laban shares his life with his smoking hot fiancé, the bravest person he knows, and the future mother of their children, Anna!
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
- Become Your Own Superhero Podcast on YouTube
- Visit Laban Ditchburn’s Official Website
- Laban on Instagram
- Laban on LinkedIn
- Ready to BET ON YOU? We can help. Book a FREE Career Clarity Call now!
FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:
Please note the full transcript is 90-95% accuracy. Reference the podcast audio to confirm exact quotations.
[00:00:00] Zach White: Happy engineers. Welcome back. I can’t wait for this conversation with my man and new friend Laban Ditchburn. He has an incredible story. I can’t wait to dig in, but the reason you will love this man is the same reason I do that. Laban is the World’s Greatest Courage Coach. And if there’s one thing at Oasis of Courage that we like to talk about, it’s that. Laban, thank you so much for making time to be with us today.
[00:00:33] I’m so excited to be with you!
[00:00:35] Laban Ditchburn: Zachary White, my honor, and pleasure. And then the time that we’ve known each other, it’s just been a blessing upon blessing. So thank you for taking the time. And I will just give one clear distinction and I’ll explain why as we go into this in the show, World’s BEST Courage Coach.
Expand to Read Full Transcript
[00:00:52] And it’s very important. And I’ll explain that. Cause there’s a few things, so good people are going, what did they just call themselves?
[00:01:04] Zach White: I like this. Okay. So world’s greatest. World’s best. Let’s just start right there, man. I love that distinction. Tell us about why and how this.
[00:01:14] Laban Ditchburn: So this in September, 2021, I had a, an experience watching a YouTube video with a guy called Steve Hardison.
[00:01:23] Steve Addison is up until recently and enigma. He didn’t really exist anywhere. Apart from this one video of him doing a speech about a footballer Dusseldorf. We applied for the Arizona, um, NFL team, Steve Addison, to give you an idea as an executive coach to work with them is $200,000, 50 as his time devout Mormon guy.
[00:01:48] Uh, but. Extraordinary person I’ve ever encountered right now, watch this video. It’s two hours and 10 minutes longer DNA altering the good content. And if you could post the link in the show notes below, that’d be, even if you get 1% of what I got from it, it’d be absolutely worthwhile, but I watched this video.
[00:02:08] And I was so moved by this it’s like, man, I need to be in the presence of this guy to see if what experienced watching this videos, what I would experience in real life. So I’m very resourceful individual. And I called them up, picks up the phone and I said, Steve had us in his life in ditch bread for Melvin straight.
[00:02:24] He goes Laban. So great to hear from you. I’ve been waiting for this call all my life. I’m immediately endeared to this guy. Now this guy to give you further context. Has coached the CEO of billion dollar companies, Yana van Zahn, who is Oprah Winfrey’s coach. Right. That’s the sort of the caliber. And I knew that he didn’t need a lot from, from what I, from what I’d heard about him.
[00:02:51] And I said to him, Steve, I just watched this video with you induce the two. And I was so moved by it. And I just wanted to ask you one very specific question. He said, what’s that labor? And I said, what do you need help? He goes, wow. He said, man, I really appreciate you taking the time to ask me that. He said, you know what?
[00:03:09] Laban I’m I’m years of age. I’m 8% body fat. I do 10 miles a day. I really am lacking for nothing, but I really wanted to thank you for asking me that question. I said, oh, no worries, Steve. Now the other thing about Steve and Jay, he doesn’t go on interviews or podcasts is there’s no, when I say he’s in an ECMO, like that’s his thing, right then I said to him, Stevie is still not going on podcasts and interviews.
[00:03:35] He said, that’s right. Oh, no worries. I said, look, I’m a speaker, I’m a coach. I got this amazing podcast series called become your own superhero. And I’m well on my way to becoming known as the world’s most positively influential speaker, but someone that I admire and respect recently said to me, Steve, uh, that there’s too much ego associated with that.
[00:03:55] And he goes to me, this devout Mormon guy, Lavan, you tell that person to Off.
[00:04:05] You know, I am, I’m getting all evangelical at this point. He said, I’m the best coach in the world. And he delivered that statement with zero. Yes. If you can imagine trying to hear that without any ego and receiving it without any ego. And that, that conversation sparked a further conversation with another friend of mine, Chris Doris, who was coached by Steve Hardison, he’s about two and a half thousand dollars an hour.
[00:04:33] If you were to work with him one-on-one and that day. Talking to Chris Dora. So we came up with the world’s best courage coach and I needed money at the time, my darling and I was in Russia for some urgent family stuff. And he said, here’s what we’re going to do. We came up with this formula to ring the CEOs of the biggest companies on the planet and deliver this, this line, this cold call line.
[00:05:00] And I tried a few people in the U S and I couldn’t get through and starting to get. And I called this company in Australia, the, this company Hodges real estate, the oldest real estate company in Australia, and this guy picks up the phone and he said, Tony speaking. I said, Tony, Tony DACA. He said, yes, it is he’s.
[00:05:15] He said, and I said, it’s Laban ditch burn from Melbourne Australia. He said, hi Laban, do we know each other? I said, Tony, we’ve never spoken before, but today’s your lucky day? And he’s the line I delivered. He laughed. He said why? He said it, wasn’t my lucky day labor. And I said, because Tony, I’m the world’s best courage coach.
[00:05:32] And I teach your people how to take bold, massive and strategic action in order to facilitate miraculous outcomes. And what happened that day, Zach was a 13 minute conversation with Tony. Exactly that resulted in a further invitation to come back the following Wednesday via zoom, because we were still in locked down there to present for some training and coaching that this company had.
[00:05:57] Wow. That next week rolled around. So no slide deck, no warm intro. No, nothing. Just an outrageous cold call with a declaration. Yes. And that following week, Was it a 30 minute call that took an hour and three quarters. I asked him one question at the start about what he wanted to do with the company.
[00:06:18] And he, you know, had quite aggressive goals as a coach and as a CEO, rather than want to take it from good to great. And I listened for like 45 minutes and the power is in the listener. Right. and I said to him, Tony, what about becoming the best real estate company in the state of. And he’s looking back at me and he starts nodding and looking at the left, you can see as Brian wearing away.
[00:06:41] And I said, uh, what about, what about becoming the best real estate company in, Australia? And he’s nodding more vigorously now, right? And I said, Tony, you do realize that in order for you to have the best real estate company in Australia, you need to be the best real estate CEO in Australia.
[00:06:59] And five minutes later. I had the city on this county, standing out of the chair, yelling at the top of his lungs. I’m the best real estate CEO.
[00:07:09] Zach White: This is so exciting. Okay. So I, what I love here in you’re pulling me into the energy of this so much, Laban is the audacity of that statement. You know, whether it’s world’s best courage, coach, you know, the best real estate CEO in Australia, combined with what you said earlier.
[00:07:28] From Steve, that it comes without ego and, and I’m like, help us understand how you and then with your clients and the people you coach, how do you bring those two things together? Where, where does it come from? If it’s not from a place of ego?
[00:07:48] Laban Ditchburn: It’s a brilliant question. It took me a little bit of time to figure this out because I don’t think the world has ever seen anything like this before. And the reason I say that is because I’m witnessing the transformative effect that’s having on other people that are declaring themselves the world’s best in their chosen niche or niche.
[00:08:06] Right. What it is. It’s a, it’s a commitment that I make to myself every single day. When I get out of bed, how would the world’s best courage coach conduct themselves? And it forces me to behave in a way that I am constantly leveling up. And if you can be, and we all have Michael Jordan level genius at something, right.
[00:08:27] False humility is a very ugly thing. Yes. And growing up in New Zealand and Australia, This tall poppy syndrome that exists. And I know exists in other parts of the world where it’s discouraged to step into your genius is a scourge on society, in my opinion. And if more and more people were allowed to step into their field of excellence, uh, the world would be a much better place in my opinion.
[00:08:55] And so when I talk to people about becoming the best in the world, it’s, non-quantifiable. And it’s intangible, right? So if you were to say to me, living on the world’s best, a hundred meter sprinter, unless you’re the best kept secret in north America, like we know that’s out of alignment, but if you look at what it is that you do with your work and what’s the problem that you solve.
[00:09:16] So for me, it’s alleviating fear. Well, what’s the opposite positive affirmation at world’s courage. World’s best courage coach And when you say best. There’s room for other people to be the world’s best. They don’t have to knock anyone off that Peter stall, right? The rising tide lifts all boats.
[00:09:34] And, but the way that the universe distributes these responsibilities, we all kind of step into our own little area of expertise. And that’s, that’s really the power of this declaration. And now when people ask me what I do, Zach, it’s my new favorite question. Yeah, on the world’s best career coach and 99% of people respond with this.
[00:09:53] Wow. What does that look like? Yeah. And then I go on, I’m a speaker, I’m a coach. I’m a, an author. I’m a podcast. Like I’m a husband to be like, I’ve got all these feathers in my cap and, and, you know, especially with what you do and, and our audience here, you’re not just engineers. You’re not. The, you know, we are not defined by what we do, but if you give people the clarity by having this five or six, seven word statement of commitment to the universe, the world has transformed in front of my eyes.
[00:10:26] And in the time that I’ve made that declaration, I just got confirmed to speak in an event in Florida, in September called the upgrade in your life to. And I’m speaking on stage confirmed at this point, Tom Ziglar, Zig Ziglar sun. Yes. Kevin Sorbo, which is Hercules, but Waldo Walburn. Who’s a hall of fame speaker and war hero.
[00:10:45] And Les brown. And we’re waiting on confirmation from Rhonda Santas and, maybe couple of other people, but like who the am I? How dare I like no high school qualifications, no college, no, no certification in anything how dare I. I just did.
[00:11:05] Zach White: So the statement world’s best leaves room for other people to be with you at that top of the, the, you know, there’s room for more other people can join.
[00:11:17] Is that the key distinction between best and greatest or, or take me back to that original correction? What is it for you that makes those two words?
[00:11:26] Laban Ditchburn: look, I really just energetically feel misaligned. I think it’s an ego thing. I haven’t quite yet worked it out, but it doesn’t leave room for anyone else.
[00:11:38] Yeah. I love that. You know, best of breed. I don’t know. I don’t know, there’s just something about it. I just went, when I, it took me a few attempts to figure out what it was, but when we, when we nailed it, you’ll know, like it was just right here. And my sternum, I was like, whoa. And so we’ve created a whole movement.
[00:11:51] Now we created a mastermind group where people that are declaring himself the world’s best It’s amazing. It’s, it’s the only way to describe it. It’s just amazing the impact that’s having on people. It’s
[00:12:00] 043 – Laban Ditchburn – The Happy Engineer Podcast: amazing
[00:12:01] Zach White: for sure. So let me give you my quick journey to this uh, when Laban and I first connected, he introduced himself to me this way as the world’s best courage coach.
[00:12:07] And of course, I go get it wrong at the beginning of our show here. And it led for a great thread. I’m glad we pulled it, but Laban challenged me to create. My own authentic, fully aligned world’s best statement. And as of a few days ago, I have started declaring into the world and over my life that I am the world’s best lifestyle engineering coach, which is yeah.
[00:12:32] Which is the heartbeat of what does, and our flagship program is the lifestyle engineering blueprint. And you know, that, that is. Within the world of what I do, how courage comes to life for me is through this journey to lifestyle engineering. And so I’ll tell you what Laban just described The statement causes you to identify with it in a new way.
[00:12:56] And we’re constantly recommitting and leveling up. It’s only been days Laban since I put this out into the world and it already has made a tremendous difference. And this morning prepping for this conversation, uh, I asked myself, what would the. Best lifestyle engineering coach do to prepare for this conversation.
[00:13:15] And, you know, I meditated, I got myself ready and it was tremendous. So here’s the thing I want to highlight for everybody. That’s so cool. Most of us are caught in a conversation about imposter syndrome, but what you’re talking about is this opposite in of false humility. You’re like, that is just as dangerous as the idea of.
[00:13:38] Being an imposter feeling like an imposter. And so can you just tell us more Laban in your experience as a coach? Why or what would you say drives us into that place of false humility
[00:13:50] Laban Ditchburn: conditioning? Conditioning. Uh, and it’s, it’s fantastic that you’ve made that declaration and Zack and already getting some kind of positive response.
[00:13:59] And I’m so excited to hear how it further impacts your life and the lives of people around you. Just to, just to acknowledge that statement because it is Stroud and boastfulness, um, which is again, just conditioning. And this is the thing like. I, I, you know, I I’ve had a number of really high profile guests on the podcast and one of them was sir, Steve Hanson, right.
[00:14:20] And assist Steve ants in most, most people in north America wouldn’t have heard of him, but the, the former New Zealand, all black coach. Oh, wow. Now he’s incidentally. So sir state has been knighted by the queen, right? He is the most successful sporting coach across all coats. On the planet from an international competition level.
[00:14:43] Right. And when I interviewed him, I, his, his levels of humility were so profound that you couldn’t really extract some of the genius. Now I’m not having a dig at sort of Steve. I mean, he endorsed my book and wrote the most amazing thing and he shared some stuff on the podcast. Going through marriage counseling and stuff that he’s never shared anywhere, anywhere on here in New Zealand, Australia.
[00:15:10] But if, if people like that only knew the power of. Vulnerability and sharing I’ve they could have a far greater impact than what they’re already doing. I think that’s the importance of breaking away from conditioning. Is, is this thought that I’m having a real thing or is it, is it a, just a learned behavior from parents that were hushed children should be seen and not heard.
[00:15:32] And then they carried that into generational trauma and to the next generation, right? Now that’s just my opinion, but it seems to be working. And I’m seeing, I’m seeing dozens of other people step into the genius and report back, you know, without me putting any parameters to it saying live, and this is what’s happened since we’ve declared this world’s best.
[00:15:53] And so that to me is a sign that it works, you know, and also when you go to namecheap.com where you buy. All of the domains for these are available. You know, I got like world’s best PR company world’s best, you know, publishing like world’s best carriage. Like that means this. No one’s ever thought of this before in this current era.
[00:16:12] Uh, and, I really feel like I’ve stumbled across something magnificent that that can have a wonderfully profound effect on the world because it transcends race and crate and politics and everything else. And the, in
[00:16:22] Zach White: the middle of. So true. I’m making a note to purchase the URL for my world’s best lifestyles during coach.com.
[00:16:31] Laban Ditchburn: Yeah. And update your zoom, zoom thing, update your social media, update your podcasts, just put it out there and, and get people to declare it back to you when you’re on the airport.
[00:16:39] Zach White: Yes. Yes. I love that. So, Become your own superhero, this idea, stepping into your genius. I think that’s a message that at some level, if we get past the baggage in our life, that might be happening right in front of our face.
[00:16:54] We all have that place inside of us. That just longs for that sense of stepping fully into that, living into our potential and becoming our own superhero is such a great phrase. And so Laban, would you just take us back? Most people listening, probably haven’t heard of you or heard your story before. And it’s, it’s all about how you’ve turned your mess into your message, negativity into a superpower.
[00:17:16] Just give us a little bit of that context in your own journey and how you became aware the transformational impact of becoming a superhero. Just go ahead and back it up, man. How did you get.
[00:17:30] Laban Ditchburn: Well, six and a half years ago, it was sort of, I was grinding along the floor of rock bottom and finally ground to a halt.
[00:17:37] Uh, I think sliding along the floor of Rockport and, uh, and I’ve passed along the floor and he finally settled and got to a point where I was like, huh, this isn’t quite the life. I imagined for myself, you know, as a young man. And that was being very generous. Cause my life was a disaster zone.
[00:17:56] Right. And. I made a decision. I, and I made a decision to ask for help. And also that I appeared weak, but so that I could remain strong and I kept asking for help until I got it. And I struggled with drinking and drugs and gambling and philandering, limiting beliefs, negative self-talk and auto-immune disease.
[00:18:12] I was fat. Uh, you know, I couldn’t hold decent relationships with women. And over the last six and a half years, I’ve systematically knocked off each one of those mother and turns out when you do. You’ve got some credibility when it comes to further sharing that story. And so at the start of 2020, when COVID hit, uh, my career as a speaker was about to kick off and my first paid speaking engagements were all canceled within the first, like a better week.
[00:18:40] Yeah. And there were like $400 a day speaking engagements. Right. And as like, and we were in Melbourne Australia at the time, which had set the record for the longest LA. City out of anywhere in the world. At one point it might still be the record. We had something like 280 days a curfew and craziness, right.
[00:18:58] And so I was like, man, I need a way to get my message out. So I created the podcast and the last event that we’d gone to before everything would shut down was the professional speakers Australia event in south Australia and a network network, my backside off, spin out last money, getting, getting to Adelaide and going to this event.
[00:19:15] Bought a few guests on and then was able to get, uh, Les brown. I, who I’ve mentioned before, for those who don’t know, Les is regarded really as the greatest ever motivational speaker at living or dead. And I had 10 subscribers at that point, any. I didn’t tell him that had he asked, I would’ve told him, but I didn’t, I didn’t volunteer that information, but I rang him up cold quarter Laban disappearing from Melbourne, Australia.
[00:19:40] And he came on and I asked him what he thought of the name of the podcast, but come your own superhero. And he was so brilliant in the way he responded. If you haven’t heard less speak, get on YouTube and check out a 10 minute video, it will change your life risks, but he was so warm and, and daring. When he finished, I would just verbally diarrhea the story of transformation that I just shared with you guys.
[00:20:00] And he just listened intently until I finished and then went for about seven minutes. It was the long version. And he said, congratulations, labor. And I said, thanks Les. He said, do you have a book? And I said, no, I died. And as I said, didn’t finish high school. Never went to college, no formal degree, no nothing.
[00:20:19] He said, if you’re going to be a speaker, you need a book for credibility. And I said, right. He said, who was the most influential person in your life when you were five? And I thought about it for a minute, Zack. And I was like, Hm. Despite her many, many, many, many floors in my dying mother. And so he says, well, what attributes to get from your mother?
[00:20:39] And I started thinking about it for probably the first time in my life. I was like, oh, actually, she was like, I conditionally loving and tenacious and spiritual. And he’s writing all these things. Dan, he looks up at me, Zach, and he says, Laban, this is a God moment. He said, I’m going to show you how to monetize your purpose is over the next 10 minutes.
[00:20:56] And he reads back to me a blueprint for this book. He wants me to write called bet on you. You said labor, you’re going to write the book. You’re going to turn the book into a keynote. You’re going to tune the keynote to a three-day retreat and said, even if you mark this up, you’re going to make 200 grand in the next 12 months.
[00:21:12] And he said, and I’m going to brought the forward for your book. And this was in mid may, 2020. And I said less. If you’re going to write the foreword for my book, I’ll have it to you by June 30, 20, 20. And in six weeks, I pumped at 30,000 words as a first draft of bid on you and changed my whole life in the process.
[00:21:32] Zach White: That’s incredible. And I will say less is intro. And the first two pages of the book bet on you will grip you to read the rest. So everyone listening, just jump out to Amazon, get it on audible or get the Kendall edition of layman’s book because the first story about double and trouble will, will grip you. Awesome stuff, courage coach.
[00:21:56] You’re going to want to read what Laban has to say. It’s a tremendous, tremendous book. This idea, then turning negative situations and experiences and traumas of your life into a superpower. If somebody hearing this is like, that sounds nice, but you, you know, you don’t know what I’m going through later in or Hey, I, where do I begin with that?
[00:22:17] How do you, where’s the starting point you mentioned, you know, asking for help, but like talk to us a little bit about going back to that moment of awareness. I’m at rock bottom. I’ve come to a total hall. What did it take to change the trajectory?
[00:22:32] Laban Ditchburn: was in tremendous amounts of emotional pain, uh, some physical, you know, a lot of spiritual dysregulation.
[00:22:41] Like there was a mile alignment was out. I was my physically, I was really unhealthy mentally and just the trajectory of my life was really hitting off a cliff. And it wouldn’t have been much long before I. And I, I did have suicidal tendencies at times, particularly when I was coming down off drugs and alcohol and no wonder, right.
[00:23:02] My whole body was inflamed and it was a disaster, as I know, surrounded in the worst people. But let me share something personal with this audience. If you’ll allow me tags, thank you. Because the perspective is a hell of a drug and we should never compare ourselves to anyone apart from the person we were the day before, but this, this will help.
[00:23:20] So I went through my journey. I was a child of divorce, nothing more innocuous than that, but I suffered a measurably. I suffered a measurably. I was raised by parents who were ill-equipped to look after themselves, fully let alone their children. And I, I used coping mechanisms to deal with that dysfunction.
[00:23:38] And we had Cassidy battles and lawyers and being stolen away from foster homes and, you know, poverty, uh, with regards to. Physical stuff like food and resources, but also the poverty mindset, which was the real challenge with that. So I had to go through a process of D learning and then relearning the stuff.
[00:23:57] And that was the challenging part, but absolutely worthwhile. I met Anna, my darling fiance. We’re going to get married any day. Now we’re going to elope to Vegas, we think. And, um, and we’re going to give it a three and a half years. And during that, thank you very much. And like, she’s the woman on Yuan. I wanted to make my whole life.
[00:24:13] It was beginning to think I wouldn’t right. Meet her in the street to Mel. When you can read all about it in the book, it’s a great story. But her, and I have had 15 consecutive miscarriages cumulatively. Two of those have been topics. One of which nearly killed her in 2019, in 2020, after going to countless doctors and trying to figure out what was going on, they couldn’t find anything.
[00:24:39] Anna I knew what was going on. From 15 to 21. And growing up in Russia, a stepfather was systematically abusing her resulting in two pregnancies that were illegal. So they became forced abortions. One of which damaged the uterine wall and is responsible for the. The miscarriages right now. I know that’s heavy for the audience and I’m not sharing this for sympathy because when you get a chance to meet Mike Diana, she is not anyone that carries the burden of that.
[00:25:11] In fact, she has forgiven the perpetrator. Wow. She’s forgiven her mother for not protecting her. And she’s forgiven her biological father left when she was four who wasn’t, you know, had he stuck around this wouldn’t have happened now. me, Zack. If she can forgive that, you know, maybe I can forgive my father for being not as present with me.
[00:25:36] Do you know what I mean? Like, and. Again, it’s not to compare ourselves to other people’s situations, but sometimes you look at their life, you know, can you imagine going through that? And every time a miscarriage happens, being further reminded of that. Now the beautiful thing is she finally had the courage to share with her mother last year, and a mum went full, bats#*t crazy on the stepfather and they got the police involved.
[00:26:02] She ran into a gynecologist. Who’s been able to figure out something that the Australian medical industry overload. And, uh, there’s a resolution on its way, right? So it’s not a it’s, it’s the greatest comeback story and her book is going to be an international killer. Right. So, yeah. So I don’t know if that’s really answered what your, what your question was Zach, but I just, I thought it was important to share then Anna’s has got her own podcast, which is called the world’s best trauma recovery podcast, by the way.
[00:26:31] And it is. That’s
[00:26:33] Zach White: amazing. You know, I think it does answer the question, at least for me, Laban in the sense that really at some level, I hear you describing these powerful stories and in, in both your story and Anna’s story and, uh, just let’s acknowledge her for a moment and just give, I mean, she gave us permission to let you share this, and it’s just how she is using her negative experience as a miracle in the world and impacting lives is just awesome in its own.
[00:26:59] Right. But at some moment, that courageous decision to face the fear to face the, the easy way of just staying on the path you’ve always been on, even when it’s not a good path. That’s, what’s so deceptive about it just because it sucks. And it’s incredibly negative doesn’t mean that. You know, easier to get something else it’s easy to stay, right where you’re at.
[00:27:21] And just that decision to, to do whatever is necessary to start moving in a new direction and on the other side of courage and forgiveness in your life and an Anna’s life are miraculous outcomes. So I mean, Laban, when we first met, you told me several stories, I’m sure you could pull from dozens or hundreds of examples, but just to inspire.
[00:27:44] Yeah. If someone listening about why this work is worth it, why courage and forgiveness and everything you’re saying is worth it. Can you just tell us about the kinds of miracles that you’re seeing in your life now as a result of this lifestyle?
[00:27:58] Laban Ditchburn: Yeah. Um, and I’m glad you highlighted that Zack cause, and I will, you know, I might be the world’s best courage coach, but she’s the most courageous person I know, but, but, but she, she attributed her.
[00:28:05] The ability to open up to me because of my honesty and my vulnerability, because I lived a headed and stick life. Imagine if Charlie Shane and fair and loving Las Vegas had a baby, right. And some of it’s in that, most of it’s in the book, but so there’s a lesson, you know, for an M and a masculine and feminine relationship, male and female heterosexual, male.
[00:28:30] Th the, the brave and courageous and vulnerable you can be in your own relationships will inspire your partner to relieve the, the tyranny of, uh, the burden of tyranny. And that is the greatest gift you can give anyone because. Now Anna is focusing on sharing this message with the world. She just empowers me with her feminine, feminine energy and is not caught up in her own demons.
[00:29:00] And she really is the one that is behind the amount of courage and bravery, because she says yes to everything. And, and I think that’s really important, but to share a story with. this is something that happened to me the other day, most back in, uh, back in Phoenix. And this is an example, I think of what we can all do.
[00:29:22] I ordered a Lyft and it was a better 10 minute journey up the road. And I could see on my phone that the lady’s name was April and this is how my brain works. Right. So I get in the car. I don’t even say hello or anything. I start seeing that dragon song, which is a band from New Zealand. You might’ve heard, it says, take me to the Aprils in Cuba.
[00:29:47] Whoa, you did.
[00:29:50] Zach White: Oh, it’s awesome.
[00:29:52] Laban Ditchburn: And she, she cracks up and she says, wow, you’re in a great mood today. And I said, April my life as a daily miracle. And she’s like, that’s so great to hear. And I said, well, what miracles are you creating today? And she couldn’t think of any. And I said, well, that’s okay. I said, what’s the miracle you most proud of?
[00:30:11] And I don’t know where this stuff comes from, but she said to me, she blurted it out. She said, layman, five years ago, I reconnected with my father. She was a native American lady in her mid fifties. She’s a big girl too. She’d obviously been using food as a coping mechanism for a long time. And. And, uh, her father had left when she was really young and she had nothing to do with them.
[00:30:27] And we all know the effect that that has on society, right. Disastrous, but she had reconnected with her father and spent the last five years healing their relationship and she’d moved on. And then he, you know, he eventually passed away, but she’d made reparations with her dad. And I just said to her, I was blown away by her response.
[00:30:47] And this is, this to me is a great example of why. Doing heading, these kinds of conversations is really beneficial. Okay. So I said to her April, I said, you know, congratulations. That is so great. She said, thanks, lave. And she said, I’m, I’m trying to be the best role model for my kids that I can be. And I just said to, uh, April.
[00:31:09] Have you ever hated someone that you didn’t know? And she said, yeah, yeah, I have I said, is it not then possible that you can love someone that you don’t know? She said, yeah, yeah. I think so. I said, you know why she said, why is it low? And I said, I love you. I, Paul, I love you. And I meant it. I mean, to, and only the way that you can mean it in that context.
[00:31:32] Now she burst into tears. Like the waterworks came and you know, the rides over at this point, And her, and I, uh, get out of the car. We’re embracing for about two minutes, right? This is my Lyft driver. She’s taking the mask off. And she said to me, something that really struck me. And that was the reason I wanted to see her.
[00:31:54] She said, Laban, you have no idea how badly I needed to hear that today. You have no idea. Now here’s the kicker. I walk off feeling like iron man like I’m I get to feel good if I’m feeling like that. How’s she feeling? Yes. Now, that’s not an example of where some monetary gain happened or an introduction to someone high-powered, there’s plenty of those stories that I could share, but that is a simple example of how you can improve the world around you.
[00:32:28] And there’s a book, a title that I’ve been toying with and it’s like, change, change yourself before you change the world. It’s like so many people like, oh, what can I do to change the world? You to change yourself before you change the world and let’s, Hey, you can do it.
[00:32:42] Zach White: I just love the arc of this, right?
[00:32:44] You going from rock bottom, a decision to ask for help, the courage to do really hard work, to change your life, the identification with being the world’s best courage coach. And then in a moment with a total stranger to show up that way and create a miracle in her life and the reward that you get to experience.
[00:33:11] In that process, like we could just put a period on it, full stop, keep showing up every day, just like that. So this is, it may feel really big, you know, this is huge Laban, how, how do I possibly get from where I’m at to, to where you’re at? I’d love to be. Walking around and creating miracles with Lyft drivers.
[00:33:30] This is so cool. Can you bring it to something bite sized for us? If somebody just wants to experience courage coach at a new level in their life today and start on a track to making miracles happen, what would be that tiny starting point for someone?
[00:33:48] Laban Ditchburn: Yeah, it’s a, it’s a great, a very great and important question.
[00:33:50] And all I would say is that. The moment you can condition your brain to believe the statement. What people think of me is none of my business, what people think of me is none of my business. And it’s true. It really is true. And it’s not, they’re not saying that you can’t be verbally berated by someone not being negatively impacted by it or someone leaving some hurtful comment on Twitter.
[00:34:20] But what people think of me is none of my business. All right. So that’s okay. So if I can figure that out. So does that mean when I share stories of, of being drugged and drunk and promiscuous, that it doesn’t matter what people say. Yeah, because what people think of me is none of my business and what happens is as you claim more and more ownership, and you’re not doing a woe is me statement.
[00:34:48] You’re doing, you’re reclaiming ownership. You’re reclaiming the power because if you’re winning to people, 90% of people don’t care and 10% are glad it’s happening to you. Right. So you reclining the path, you’re able to share your story, but when you share your story truly in vulnerably, People connect with you and then they like you and they engage with you.
[00:35:10] Then they open up and they feel safe. And then this perpetual snowball happens. And you get to a point where you’ve spoken so much about your trauma, that it doesn’t have any power anymore. It’s kind of like, you’re talking about someone it’s like, you’re watching a movie. And I’ve witnessed that in Ana.
[00:35:27] And I’ve certainly witnessed that in myself and I’ve had thousands of conversations, but you got to start somewhere and you don’t have to do what I’m doing. You don’t have to copy me, but become comfortable, not caring. What other people think of you. And, you know, what’s the reason that I’m sharing this story.
[00:35:45] Well, you’ve all got this great message. We’ve all gone through and traumas. Uh, and, and the best thing you can do for people is allow them to feel like they’re not alone in this.
[00:35:54] Anna Anna Anna’s story got picked up by a magazine in Russia where she’s from. It’s just north of Japan. It’s its own islands called Sal in Ireland. Very famous for, oil and a few other things were on gas and fishing. 300,000 people in the art like Anna put her email address. Um, and when you see the story, which no one does in Russia, no one does.
[00:36:16] And it went crazy, crazy viral, and she goes hundreds and hundreds of emails from other women on the island saying this happened to me. Thank you for sharing. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It’s like this, this relief of trying to have this perfect life and it doesn’t serve anyone. So share a way because what people think of you is nanny.
[00:36:36] Zach White: What people think of me is none of my business, powerful belief. So start nurturing that in your life today. If you believe that fully, what would you do different in the stories you tell in the way you show up Laban? Before I go to the last question, I mean, I could talk to you all day, man. This. My favorite topic with courage coach and you just so many powerful stories and thank you so much for being vulnerable with us.
[00:36:59] But before we do that, want people to know where to find you and how to access, you know, this, this in their own life, if they want to take steps here. So just share with our audience, you know, where can they get connected with Laban? The world’s best courage.
[00:37:11] Laban Ditchburn: Well, there’s the two main areas. I mean, if you buy the book it’s available on every Amazon site on the planet, you can get it through my website, but it’s called bet on you by Laban ditch burn.
[00:37:20] And if you buy the Kindle and there’s a link with some free resources that talk more about this stuff, and if it’s not the best book that you’ve read in the last 12 months, or listen to send me, send me a, an email and I’ll refund you the. I will. It’s brilliant. Right? It’s outrageous. But, uh, I dunno why, why I declared that?
[00:37:43] I just that’s how much I believe in it and the impact it’s having on people’s lives. Right. But Laban ditch burn.com is where you can find all the goodness. So all the podcasts and the coaching and whatever, the outlet ultra running and my hotness is whatever else you want to, but whatever Fluxus. I
[00:38:01] Zach White: love that.
[00:38:02] And I just want to absolutely acknowledge you and your work to the highest level, because not only is the book tremendous, but you know, as an engineer, myself and for the engineering audience who may be tuned into this, it’s easy to get caught up in thinking that the next thing I need in life is the PhD.
[00:38:18] It’s the MBA. It’s the promotion. It’s the, you know, the higher paycheck, the bigger title. Maybe you feel like you’re above those things, but you’re focused on, you know, fill in the blank. If we don’t do the work. That layman’s talking about in our own life and start showing up with that kind of courage, forgiving the people we need to forgive and really digging in.
[00:38:37] I can tell you that the level of miraculous outcomes, that Laban experiences is available to you, but you gotta be willing to do this work. So, so go get the book. Don’t ask questions there. You just got the guarantee from Laban. If it’s not the best book you’ve read, he’ll give you your money back and you’re not going to need to ask for your money back.
[00:38:54] I can tell you that right now, leaving. I want to land the plane. And it’s, there’s so many things we could go to, but I always end with the same question and I’m excited to. Where your heart takes us. I believe that your great engineering, great coaching, you know, they have in common that the questions we ask lead and the answers follow.
[00:39:09] And if we want different answers in our life, let’s ask different and better questions. So for the engineering leader, who’s been with us in this conversation who wants to experience courage and miracles in their life like a courage coach describes. What would be the best question? You would lead them with today.
[00:39:30] Laban Ditchburn: I’ll give you a practical one.
[00:39:32] And it just came to me because there was a conversation that came up this morning with 2,900 I about unrequited advice. And let’s say you’re the lead of a big team of engineers individually. Let’s say you got 10 people. Get every single. Individual points. What kind of person do I need to be for you and I to have a better business relationship with each other?
[00:39:56] Or what kind of boss do I need to be in order for you and I to have the best outcomes? If you pose these kinds of questions, you can, you can take them into your relationship with your kids. If they’re old enough with anyone in your life. And I S you know, I can say, Dan, what kind of partner do I need to be for in order for you to have a better relationship?
[00:40:20] And if you give people permission to respond, they’ll tell you what they want. The power is in the listener. Yes. Power is in the listener. Start asking open questions. Who, what, how, when, why, and watch the world around you transform and stop waiting. For them to stop speaking so you can formulate your response, be in the moment with them, listen, actively listen.
[00:40:49] And you, your brains, you, especially you engineers, like you, clever people, you know, I’m reversed, engineered all my stuff. I believe that I was an engineer in a former life. Um, but ask them open questions and watch the world around you transform. So.
[00:41:04] Zach White: What kind of person do I need to be? And you fill in the blank listener.
[00:41:09] Where, where do you need to focus? Is that your work team is that your, your spouse is that your kids, uh, you know, to just go get into those courageous, vulnerable conversations, Laban, you embody my favorite word, courage and encouragement to place courage into other people. That’s what you do. You’ve done it for me.
[00:41:28] I’m encouraged today. Uh, thank you so much for your time. And being with us, this has been fantastic. Well,
[00:41:35] Laban Ditchburn: I’ve got to say Zach, how would the world’s best courage coach conduct himself? Thank you. You’re wonderful. You’re a wonderful interviewer and a, and I love that you give, gave me the space. To answer the questions.
[00:41:47] And, uh, for those that haven’t, you need to subscribe and give a writing. It’s really important to drive organic traffic so that other people can hear this, uh, wherever you’re listening to this or on YouTube, share it with someone you care about and, uh, sending everyone lots of love and abundance bet on you.